(Un)settled: Notes from a shifting Life : Kamini Karlekar

The blurb on the back cover of this book states that the author of this book contemplates on the question of identity and ways of being "unsettled". At one level it is just that. Kamini Karlekar writes a factual account of her own 'unsettled-ness. As an Indian woman nearing 30, she is still not married and "settled" in the Indian sense. Then there are these unsettled "clients" (read refugees) that she interviews to determine whether they need UN support or not.

It is refreshing to read Kamini with all her dilemmas and unanswered questions; thankfully she does not simplify issues and dish out ready-made 'self-help' type answers that you can suddenly be who you want to be or what you want to be which seems to be so much in vogue these days (I mean C'mon be honest - Can I go become Miss Universe with my looks and at my age? Mind you I am not under-estimating myself in any way. Let’s just be smart and practical about these things okay?).

This is really my kind of book, it gives me a taste of someplace else other than India and also poses various identity and/or feminist questions - sample these:

On refugees: "How does one even begin to understand what it means to have left home those many years ago, ever hopeful of returning, till eventually all dreams die inside of you as your children begin to grow up in front of your eyes in an alien and unforgiving landscape?..... How can we, ever really know how it feels to live seemingly on borrowed time because your life is temporarily stalled-and in a borrowed space because what was once your place is now no longer safe?"

Interestingly, the most haunting and powerful words (at least for me) come from an early section of the book when Kamini says "The numbness helps, a necessity in this field .... What I cannot feel, I must not pretend or try to understand". And "The truth is, no matter how strong you are, it catches up with you. So one can learn to accept, strategically go numb, but what one really needs to accept is that you can’t escape how you feel about where you are or what you do for a living".

On Identity: When talking about "identity" Kamini makes some interesting observations - the only way the refugees in Sudan and the Sudanese have connected with India is via the Bollywood tearjerkers, the family-drama variety with sari clad pining women who are happy to be "hubservient" and have no compunction about giving up their own identity and individuality. So when she is out working there, the locals expect a challenge from "white" women but with her it’s always "different". A couple of shades darker in complexion and she could be one of them. And although Indian, as one person in the book puts it "they don't believe you come straight from India". She does not conform to their idea of an Indian woman - thanks to their staple bollywood conditioning! They can't imagine a young woman is capable of being on her own and "working in a tiny, forgotten corner of Sudan".

Kamini's lulling into complacency and her later waking up to the fact that although she had taken every precaution to not offend the locals ; she may still need to give up a few simple luxuries like going for a walk alone in the evening, outside of the compound in which she lives.

Her questions such as 'just because I respected their culture and took every precaution to not offend them, how did I assume that they would return the favor...maybe I did offend the men by simply going out. Maybe in their culture a woman is not supposed to step out alone in the evening...if you do, you are an open game'. These questions may seem silly for a city dweller but for her in the middle of a desert in a war-torn country takes on enormous proportions especially when she has recently said good bye to her house-mate and getting used to staying alone.

A neat tight narrative about the author's time spent in Africa in two young nations struggling to get on their feet, a strange place-concoction of traditional beliefs and advent of modernity.

This book is also about fractured identities in war torn countries and otherwise; of questioning the concept of safeguarding 'fragile' women; of a woman working with veiled chauvinists, huge egos, different governments, opportunist-refugees. Kamini is brave in her own way... I'll give her that.

Click here, for Kamini Karlekar's Blog

"Sky Burial" and "Last Seen in Lhasa" - A Comparison in Perspectives

I read "Sky Burial" and "Last Seen in Lhasa" back to back and I can't help but compare the two. Without doubt "Sky Burial" is a far better book that I'd recommend to read than "Last Seen in Lhasa". However similarities abound. Both women start out for their journey in quest of something. In Sky Burial Shu Wen sets out to find out the truth about her husband (if and whether he is dead or still alive and if dead, how did he die?). In "Last" the narrator sets out to Tibet for the first time to hunt the red lily. Shu Wen literally leads the life of a nomad. Claire is a nomad in terms of her spiritual journey. Not just a nomad but a lost one at that.

While Wen keenly observes the male/female roles within a family system based on the type of chores each has to do or help with, Claire questions the position of women and nuns in particular in traditional Tibetan society. Prima Facie they (the nuns) seem to have as much freedom as men but scratch the surface a very different reality opens up.

Wen is surprised to find that Tibetan culture allows a system of Polyandry, Claire on the other hand coming 30 to 40 years after Wen and a westerner at that, seems to accept it as normal. Both Women face hardships during their stay in Tibet, one an unsuspecting unprepared victim of circumstance (Wen); another a knowing and willing traveller only to discover how out of shape she is half-way through the journey.

Language is another key ingredient in both books, the Chinese Wen had Zhuoma for a translator in the early part of the book, with whom she is reunited again towards the end of the book. Claire on the other hand in spite of her best efforts to learn Tibetan has to have one or the other interpreter to be able to speak to her friend Ani.

Both women develop deep friendships with ethnic Tibetan women, Wen befriends Zhuoma and Claire has Ani although the circumstances through which they meet are very different. On the other hand both women lose a man in their life - Wen loses her husband and Claire loses Tashi (one of her many lovers although Tashi remains her only Tibetan lover).

The land itself becomes a central character in places in both the books, Wen's beautiful descriptions of how the nomad people are totally in a harmonious synchronization with the elements around them gives the reader a can-this-be-really-so kind of experience. In "Last" Claire sees the barren vastness etched here and there with clusters of cliffs as projections of her own spiritual emptiness and the doubts which plague her mind.

About Potala Palace, Claire writes "I always marvelled at this remarkable edifice. Its ephemeral nature symbolized something about Tibetans that I could never quite pin down - their embracing smiles combined with an impenetrable guardedness". Yes Tibetans are friendly but they take a really long while to let you into their "inner circle" so to speak. Even Wen had to wait a really long while before she is offered a gift by Sairobee (? I may have got the name wrong) on a festival day symbolizing that she is now part of the family.

The one resounding difference between "Sky Burial" and "Last" is that Wen has a clear definiteness of purpose, she knows exactly why she is in Tibet and she knows exactly what she is seeking in this mystical land. Whereas Claire flits in and out of Tibet sometimes laboriously trying to convince the reader that some parts of it still has the "Shangri-la" charm and sometimes mourning the march of modernity which is slowly bringing a traditional way of life to a certain end - and not a good one at that.

Both women come back changed from this land in ways neither of them expected and clearly neither of them can go back to being who they were. Wen cannot now go back and fit into the fabric of the much changed Chinese town she originally left some 30 odd years before, hence continues to be a wanderer. Claire cannot go back to her British life either, instead she chooses Australia (and another lover) - she too continues to be a wanderer when it comes to the question of spirituality and faith. She has found a way to negotiate and make peace with her nagging spiritual questions but precise responses - no she hasn't found them.

Coming out of Tibet Wen rediscovers civilization in modern amenities such as a shower, electricity etc, 30- 40 years on coming out of the same place Claire rediscovers humanism, spiritualism and some form of stability in an aimless life she had had lived so far.

The Count of Monte Cristo

Image Credit: Amazon
What can I possibly write about one of the best-selling books of all time? An instant classic that has endured through the ages? Perhaps nothing. I can't critique the book - such classics are beyond my limited understanding. What I can do is express my singularly unimpressive thoughts on a beautifully impressive book.

Alexander Dumas wrote The Count of Monte Cristo in 1844, and even now in 2009 his themes of love, hope, vengeance, redemption and forgiveness resonate through to the reader. There are movies about Edmond Dantes, even games about his escape from prison. I personally could not tear myself away from the book till his escape. It was riveting. It was around after his escape that the book began to lose its magic for me - there were too many characters to grasp, too much Parisian society overtures that were lost on me, and 600 pages till you reach the slow and certain revenge that Dantes seeks.

In the end there were too many questions to ask : Was Dantes right in pursuing revenge the way he did? But then, who would I be to question that? What about Mercedes for who he loses his passion for in the end and leaves her alone? His treatment of his 'servants' the faithful Ali and Baptisto as well as the beautiful Hermes? Did Dantes receive the illumination of soul that he sought when his revenge lay executed? There were too many loose ends too that I could not tie up - how did he really manage to spirit Valentine? Her funeral was held too, yet there is no explanation of how she escaped, and why. A rather bizarre affair between Villefort and Madame Danglars also had me perplexed.

But in the end I also asked myself one question : is the Count of Monte Cristo worth the 1000 pages, worth the time, and worth the hype? Indeed yes on all counts. It is a classic, and my thoughts are just too small.

Verdict: Classic

Rating: 4/5